checking in

Four months ago today on July 29 my blog post, “economics is a disgrace,” went viral.

I’d never meant to share it publicly. Weeks earlier I’d sent it to Janet Yellen, Ben Bernanke, and Peter Rosseau–all leaders of the American Economics Association and the economics profession and role models. Pop Your Collar!

Four months ago yesterday I woke up with no intention to blog. I hit publish before I went to sleep. Why? I was talking that day with two friends about their new paper. Then because I am the way I am, I sent them my reflections. One replied me, “You need to share this.” So that was that. I touched it up, redacted some names, and hit publish.

I went to sleep and woke up to a news alert. Bloomberg wrote a piece on my post, “Ex-Fed Economist Says Profession Is Racist, Sexist, Elitist.” UH OH. My phone was blowing up with texts, emails, and DMs. Friends reminded me the Fed’s press conference was that afternoon and said there’d surely be question about my post. NO WAY. No one cares about it. My friends were right, as usual. Fed Chair Jay Powell was asked for his reaction to my post. SHIT. Again my phone blew up. Powell’s answer was fine and well scripted. It was mainly about the great things the Fed is doing to improve diversity and inclusion. Yes, and please do more.

To say that day was a blur is a major understatement. I honestly thought no one would care about my post. No one cared in 2011 when I imploded. They cared about me (thank you!!), but saw it as my problem and not the Board’s problem. It was different this time. My teen’s first reaction was, “Wow, mom. You wrote a hit piece!” NO, I DID NOT. “Mom, it’s 2020. It’s a thing now.” Others near me were exasperated, “What were you thinking?!!?” My reply, “I wasn’t. I was feeling.”

It was the next day when my life really became a rollercoaster ride. I am not here today to share the good, the bad, the ugly from that. Frankly, it’s too much inside baseball and too personal to be of interest. Most importantly, it would take attention away from what matters: making economics better. My last blog post was not for me. It was for everyone who comes to me for advice or simply needs someone to listen to them. I had mentors listen to me (thank you!!).

I will sum up my last four months in a story. Someone else’s story. It’s Elizabeth Warren’s dinner conversation in 2009 with Larry Summers then director of Obama’s National Economic Council:

“Larry leaned back in his chair and offered me some advice,” Ms. Warren writes. “I had a choice. I could be an insider or I could be an outsider. Outsiders can say whatever they want. But people on the inside don’t listen to them. Insiders, however, get lots of access and a chance to push their ideas. People — powerful people — listen to what they have to say. But insiders also understand one unbreakable rule: They don’t criticize other insiders.

I had been warned,” Ms. Warren concluded.”

A Fighting Chance by Elizabeth Warren

I’d heard that story. Obviously I do not blame Larry for the insiders-outsiders rule. Welcome to DC. We all choose to grin and bear it at times.

Moving from being an insider to an outsider can b good. I could never have written my blog post while at the Fed. It would have been embarrassing and something of a betrayal. Heck, I could not even talk about monetary policy until I left the Fed. I do now at The New York Times. Finally, Fed officials, if they want to, can read what I think of their policy decisions. Free disposal.

Being an insider and acting like an outsider can be bad. My blog post broke, err smashed, the insider-outsider rule. I took a swing at the top of the house and knocked it out of the park. I called out men who are on prestigious manels; who are name candy for advisory committees; who are on the nightly news; and who are top advisers to policymakers. And I did that while working at an economic policy think tank. It was a personal post. It was not my job to write it. Some might say it was my job was NOT to write it. No regrets. I own it.

I want to be clear that the highs of my four-month roller coaster have far exceeded the lows. I wrote my post for our next generation. I want them to have the space to bring their new ideas to economics. I heard from hundreds of them. I met some later over Zoom and the phone. I answered the emails and DMs I got. They shared horrible experiences and excellent experiences. Every note I got meant the world to me.

Several thanked me for my blog post and often said,” You are so brave.” (I was not. I was angry.) Many shared how they had felt alone when they had gotten hurt. They told me, “I read your post and I now know I am not alone.” That’s it. That’s my message to the next generation and to those pushed to side, “YOU ARE NOT ALONE.” I care. Many other people care.

That’s not enough. We need everyone to care. We need institutions to change. Think carefully about the power you hold over others. We all hold power over someone. Be respectful and be responsible with your privilege. Think about what your words and actions will do to someone else not what you intend. You can be critical and constructive. Or you can be critical and an asshole. Do not be an asshole. Hold people accountable. Hold yourself accountable.

Economics is a disgrace. And economics is a hope. You choose.